Friday, September 7, 2012

Guest post: Words from Mom, part 4

Having Mollie living so far away in Des Moines has been very hard.  I miss her desperately.  I was always worried that we would lose what we had when she was growing up, that closeness we had always had.  I guess that's why I had always said that I did not want to be a grandma. Growing up we lived in the same town as one of my grandmothers and the other one lived in a neighboring town. I wanted to have the kind of relationship with my grandchildren that I was able to have with my grandparents. I spent a lot of time with them, was able to see them everyday if I wanted and when my mother left us to be raised by our dad, it was a blessing to have my grandmothers there for me.   I didn't think I would be able to have that close relationship with any children that Mollie would have since she was living in Des Moines. 

So the day came when I found out I was to be a grandma.  It was Josh's graduation day.  It was a great day. We were so proud of Josh and had a wonderful time with family and friends.  We were cleaning up after the party, that's when she broke the news. " Mom I know you say you don't want to be a grandma....but you are gonna be one"  I am ashamed to say I went running out of the room screaming and crying, I made a total fool of myself, and the worse of it was how upset Mollie was over my reaction.  After a horrible night's sleep I woke up and did a lot of thinking before realizing I had made a terrible mistake. I apologized to Mollie and let her know that her dad and I would be there to support her in any way we could.  Of course Josh was excited, he loves kids.

Mollie's pregnancy went fairly well, and the closer the time came the more worried I became. After all, this is my baby having a baby.  I was so glad to be able to help Mollie.  It was a stressful time in her life and I was determined to be there to support her in any way I could.  I was able to go to several of Mollie's doctor appointments including the ultrasound.  We were so excited to find out what the baby was. I guessed a girl and was right!  As it turned out Mollie, had to be induced, so late in the evening Jan. 4 Mollie, I and Kristyn headed for the hospital. We spent the night at the hospital while Dennis and Josh slept at her apartment. Early the next morning Mollie was feeling the effects of the medication they had given her to start her labor.  I called Dennis and Josh telling them they should get to the hospital. 

As Mollie's labor progressed I became more nervous and scared about how things were going to turn out.  I tried not to show her how worried I was, you know, have to be strong, put up a brave front, but inside I was terrified.  But as with all things, Mollie was a trooper. Dennis and Josh left the room right before the delivery and were so impatient they kept texting me to find out what was happening. Mollie did a great job during the delivery, and after my beautiful granddaughter was born and the nurse handed her over to me, I was honored to be the first to hold her and be able to present her to Mollie.  What a special moment that was for me.  Words can never express how grateful I was that Mollie allowed me to be a part of such a blessed moment in her life.  When Dennis and Josh finally were able to come back to the room, they came with a pink teddy bear for the baby and a rose for Mollie. Of course by this time we were all in tears.  My father named Mollie and sticking with that tradition Dennis helped pick out the baby's name. Mollie and Dennis had been debating between two names.  Dennis knew Mollie had a preference and that's how Kaydin came to be.  

We love our little angel and our lives have changed so much.  Our world revolves around her. She makes my life complete. I see so much of Mollie in Kaydin, and it makes me love her even more.  Mollie is a wonderful mother, best ever, as I tell Kaydin.  I'm proud to be Kaydin's Grammy.  Love her to the moon and back.

I am so lucky to have had my famiy and friends there supporting me through that time in my life. And that day in the hospital, the day she was born, was so fun! I actually truly enjoyed those days. Yes, my labor went well, but I can honestly say it was fun! Such great memories. And yes- I had an epidural. I'm sure that also had something to do with it. :)